What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
