is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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