Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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