i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
