im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
