PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
