If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
