similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
