So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Success! We fucked roommates!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
