I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
