I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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