Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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