I want to have your abortion
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
