We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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