; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize