I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
my poor anus
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
