Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize