I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
