Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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