you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
