i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
