So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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