Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
