he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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