I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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