Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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