Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
