At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
