I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
