Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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