Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
