return my video game
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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