Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Randomize
