I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
