While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
