He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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