It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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