did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
