how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
