I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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