it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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