You were right. It hurts to walk today.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
