It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I currently don't understand fingers.
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