literally had 100 drinks last night.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
