I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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