There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
