It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
