At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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