haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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