Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
