entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
