How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
