This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
