I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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