She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
