Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
