I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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