It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
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