her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
