I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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