we're blogging at a bar
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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