that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
