explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
