No stitches, just platelets and will power
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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