Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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