Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she peed on how many people?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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