Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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