Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
