So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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