She's JV to your varsity
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
