only if we run a train.
done.
i love accidental penises.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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