please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
